Networking for beginners

Paul Johnstone ©  

• Are you a small business owner? 
• Or you may run a home based business?  
• It could be you're just starting out and you need to make contacts.   

Whatever your reason for networking, it takes self confidence to walk into a room full of strangers.

Lets be honest you don't know anyone, you may feel unsure of yourself, often under prepared and you're about to turn round and walk out when a friendly looking person approaches, with their hand extended.

But the good news it that’s the hardest part over.  You are normally met at a network group by some one someone placed strategically by the door.  They should welcome you to the event.  If they know a visitor is a newbie a good network group will go out of their way to help you be at ease with the group.  

Lets be honest they want you to return and just about all B2B groups want return visitors.
One of the first questions you will be asked if "How can I help you?" and they mean it! They want to know who you want to talk to, who would you like to be introduced to?

So do a little homework before hand. Who are you looking for introductions to? If you're a florist you may want to link up with a wedding planer, or a photographer. Usually when you ask specifically that’s what you get, a specific introduction requirement for success - showing up.

Networking - The Planning
Do you have a networking strategy?  It's quite likely that you'll have a business plan, a financial forecast and probably a marketing plan, so why not a business networking plan?
In today’s financially stretched market, networking is seen as a great way of generating new business leads.

Think about this situation; you regularly attend a pay on the door often at a cost of £15 per visit.  Now to get a return on your investment (ROI) is relatively easy.   Now multiply it by the other 3 ad hoc events.   Then add in the annual subscription to the breakfast club you're committed to and suddenly you have a significant outgoing cost.

How do you decide which events are worth attending?

OK you’ve planned where to go and what to say so how do you decide if it’s the place to be?  You look at your ROI.

I measure my ROI on a simple basis.   Which event brings the highest return?

Over the years one fact has held up time after time.  Interestingly you may think that the group with most people would bring the highest returns.  I can honestly say that has never been the case.   It is always the group where there are more synergies, or the groups ethos is to help others.   So beware playing the numbers game.

In terms of time invested but let's be honest, we network to generate new business. But no one is going to buy your product at the first meeting.   If they do it could be a bonus, but it may be the group want one of you and have decided to hook you with a quick order.
It's after the event that the important part takes place - following up and those 1 to 1's. That's where the true value lies.

It's at those 1 to 1's that decisions are made, based on the relationship you've created. People buy from people, and networking is a way of making the connections that you wouldn't otherwise have made.

The other point is that networking works once trust based relationships are forged.  And these don’t happen overnight.  So when you're considering an event, make sure you can attend regularly, again with the emphasis on building trust.

Decisions Decisons!

Are the people in the room the decision makers in their business? Or are they the leading influencers? Do you need to speak directly to the MD? How often should you attend? If it's ad-hoc networking then we would suggest 3 times to get a real feel and understanding for the leads generated. A structured weekly breakfast meeting may suit you and will generate more business. This kind of event builds long-term relationships but may come with its own stipulations.

Track all the events you attend and review them at least quarterly. If they are taking too much time and money with little return you need to discontinue your membership. Be ruthless, as the time and money you save can be re-invested in more beneficial activities.
But enjoy meeting people and growing your business at the same time.

Helping Real People do Real Business Through Real Networking

Rules for Successful Networking

Paul Johnstone ©
I recently read the Rules for my local golf club. You may imagine how strict their rules are. At the door, you have to show your ID, sign a rules and regulations agreement, all the usual stuff.  All guaranteed to guide behaviour and set a tone of respectability.

When networking at a business meeting or event, wouldn't it be great if everyone around you knew what they should and shouldn't be doing?  How great would that be if everyone that attended association events, Networking Groups, Business event, B2B club, chamber events, conferences, and cocktail parties had to read, understand, and sign off on the Networking Rules and Regulations?

By accepting a behavioural pattern we fit into our surroundings.   We'd also do a ton more business with the right approach.  Without knowing the rules, it's no wonder so many sales people and business owners are fearful and uncomfortable when it comes to swinging into the event.

You will always get the best out of your business networking events if you know what is expected of you.   This can be difficult if you are new to business networking groups. More so if you are a start up taking your initial steps into the B2B market place

Below are some networking Rules and Regulations that might make the list. Swim at your own risk.

Dress for success (no flip flops or singlet’s).
Determine ahead of time if the event requires business, casual, or very casual attire. There's enough on your mind—why let your appearance be something else to worry about?

Take business cards, a pen.
It amazes me how many people at business functions don't have a business card with them. Business cards breed business and seasoned pros know that. Or they should.

Know who you will be playing a round with.
Do you know who rounds out the guest list? Have you determined ahead of time if your prospects, clients, referral sources, colleagues, associates, counterparts, competitors, or advocates will be in attendance?

Networking only; no selling allowed
Repeat after me—networking, networking meeting. Selling, sales meeting. Got it? Networking and selling are two completely different techniques.

Be prepared to ask questions—about other people.
Know what questions you will ask those you'll be meeting. It's the best way to start a conversation, learn about other professions and industries, and attract people to you. If you're authentic, genuine, and a little lucky, you may be asked questions. Imagine that!

Greet and introduce others with passion.
I love introducing people I know to other people I know. It helps provide an easy connection for others, I'm helping the cause, and I feel pretty good about myself. What can be better than that?

If there is a connection, ask for their business card.
Don't be shy. If you've spent time with a quality contact and you're interested in continuing the conversation at a later date, ask for their business card. They might just ask you for yours. How else are you going to re-connect?

Hand out your business card (when asked).
I only hand out my card when asked. It seems rude to offer a business card to someone who may not want it. If they wanted it, they would ask.

Use your Call to Action—when asked.
Know what your purpose is and only share it when asked. If you don't know or can't share your purpose, it will be difficult making solid business connections.

Spend more time listening and less time talking (especially right after eating).
We spend way too much time thinking about what we'll say next rather than listening to others. If we listen and learn, we may have something more worthwhile to say.

Know when the conversation is over and mingle with others.
Once the chat is over, say your goodbyes and ask for a card. That is, if it's worth chatting again. If not, say your goodbyes and offer them an opportunity to meet others.

You must make a friend (or two) and have fun!
Once you meet a few great people and get the breathing down, you will be much more comfortable in the deep end and it could even be fun! Heck, you may even get some business out of it.

Do what your mum told you never to do, Use the F word – Follow Up
In golf a swing is only as good as the follow through.  In networking a connection is only as good as the follow up.  And the more networking you do the more follow up’s you need to do..

Of course, there are plenty more. This is a good start and a nice way to … get your feet wet. Establish these Rules and Regulations as your standard and help provide a safe and enjoyable golfing (networking) experience for all! Thanks for your cooperation.


Helping Real People do Real Business Through Real Networking

Getting business quickly

How to win Quick Business in the networking jungle

Paul Johnstone ©


The great thing about success through networking is it gives you wonderful opportunities to work with other people you would not normally meet.  You never know who you may talk to at your Network event, business event or social you have opportunities.

The issue here is many people don’t quite get the balance between business and social. At a B2B event or regular network meeting, people expect you to talk about your business. So how do you transfer this at a business social?

Stuck for words, full of yourself, or cautious, I have been all these over time. Well the truth is you need to direct a conversation. You don’t go into full on sales mode, which will guarantee you a cold shoulder.

The technique is straightforward. During the conversation you will be asked what you do. Now how you answer this will have an immediate effect, and should get the other person asking you questions. Now you have the opportunity to tell your story. And what’s more they will ask you for the details.

At this stage I will say that when you are asked the age old question “What do you do?” If you say, Bank Manager, IFA, Marketer, please don’t expect to be killed in the rush for your business card.

It really does not matter what you do, the result is more often than not the same.

Why is that?

It’s because you answered the question incorrectly.

The question was “what do you do?” and you answered with what you are!

We all do it, it’s natural and it’s been with us since we started work, I’m a plumber, I’m an insurance broker, I’m a sales manager.    All these tell people your status, when all they wanted to know was how you could help them.

Once you get the habit of telling people in a short 2 – 4 second phrase what you do. You will get them to ask you more questions.

Then use one of your practiced ‘elevator pitches’ 

An elevator pitch is so named after an opportunity to present to the client of your dreams in an elevator between floors. One of the most important things a businessperson can do - is learn how to speak about their business to others. Being able to sum up unique aspects of your service or product in a way that excites others should be a fundamental skill. Yet many business people pay little attention to the continuing development of "the elevator pitch"—the quick, succinct summation of what your company makes or does.

Get this right and you should find closing for a cup of coffee meeting a stroll. It’s that that the hard work you put into thinking about what to say when you meet strangers, or your dram client, delivers business to you.

And the secret to all this new business - is a phrase used by Vince Lombardi:-

“Practice alone doesn’t make perfect. It's Perfect practice that makes perfect” 

So work out in advance what you want to say, practice it and you will never let an opportunity pass you by. No more foot in the door, just a conversation you have prepared for.

Helping Real People do Real Business Through Real Networking

B2B success Keys

Paul Johnstone ©

The key to your life and business is relationships.  And Networking is the key to your success.

To be successful you need a helping hand.  So many small business people struggle on alone, believing round the corner comes the deal that will make them.  This may happen.  But for small to medium sized companies a helping hand is always useful.  

Attending business events, networking events and business clubs is a great way to meet like minded business people.  Events that attract small to medium sized business people is always helpful. 

The following quotation sums this up perfectly- “Networking shouldn’t be a hit and miss affair.  Business needs to actively seek out opportunities where they can meet and mix with others in the business world.   As well as being highly motivational these kinds of events throw up contacts and ideas that can significantly boost your business potential.”  Sir Digby Jones

To succeed in any networking venture you need to know which key to turn.  It’s OK going to lots of network groups, and networking events.  Whether these are B2B, small business networking or business clubs, there are some actions that will help you succeed.  
So which key do you turn?

Here are are three things you should always keep in your mind.

1. Be clear that you make a difference in every business situation. Know why people work with you. Ask those with whom you have the best relationships why they work with you? 

2. Be confident that how you relate to another person is your real product. Engage one person a day in a business conversation, and connect to what they need

3. Do what you say on your tin. This is so people know exactly what they get from you.  Use testimonials to back up your promises.  Talking of promises, always under promise, then amaze your client by over delivering.

Developing trust based relationships is by far and away the best way to connect with business people as well as get a fantastic reputation. 

OK how do I get to meet the people so that I can get on working with these three keys? 

Network – A simple but often misunderstood word.

On the subject of help getting where you want to be.     There is a book called the Law of Attraction by Michael Losier which talks about how people, ideas and issues are attracted to each other.  In business finding the correct people to work with is often a problem.  The Law of Attractions works like this.   You get back what you send out.

Remember the last time you were not the most polite driver on the road, and you got tooted at.  That is an example of the Law of Attraction at work.  You get back what you send out.   In business networking if you help others they will help you, fact.  If you find a business opportunity for someone they feel compelled to look for one for you.

We have all seen this ourselves. 

So remember the three points: be clear, Be confident and do what you say you will. 

Guess what?  Your reputation amongst your networking colleagues will grow quickly and it will go well beyond them. 

The Law of Attraction will see to that.


Helping Real people do Real Business through Real Networking

How to Network

©Paul Johnstone

Top 10 Networking etiquette Tips 

I was asked recently at a networking breakfast by a Refer-On member.

"What is the best way to behave at networking events that is polite yet achieves business goals?" 

After our conversation finished, I though it would be good to share these with you.  

1.    When you are at your network club.  Forget the"what is in it for me?" or the “where’s my referral ”and adopt a "How can I help you?" attitude
2.    Have at least three open questions which will help the conversation flow. (What sort of business are you in? Where do you find most of your customers? What business connections are you looking for? What is special about you product/service?)
3.    You have two ears and one mouth for a reason: listen more, talk less.
4.    Give your networking relationships time to develop, don’t rush with fellow networkers.  Your investment in time will reward you handsomely.  After all we all have a view on the foot in the door salesperson,!
5.    Make sure you're on time and have your networking "Kit" with you: business cards, a pen, decent grooming and a can-do attitude.
6.    NEVER put a business card in your pocket without looking at it
7.    At business clubs, always be willing to include a fellow networker who looks as though they're having trouble getting into a conversation.
8.    Be the one who gives the first referral - you have nothing to lose
9.    Let your fellow networkers know what you need and leave it at that - labouring the point is off- putting
10.    Thank everyone who gives you a referral and FOLLOW IT UP within 24 hours.  However the mark of a great networker, is that you keep the person who gave you the referal,up dated all the way through the process.

 A few  Extras That May Help you.

• Be willing to set up one-to-one meetings outside the usual networking meetings.
• There are two types of networker, Farmers and Hunters:  Be a farmer and work to develop long term relationships, as these will drive business to you year after year.
• Meet. Greet and move on: For open events work on a form of words you're comfortable with that will get you from one conversation to another.   Then practise saying them so that when necessary you can swiftly but politely move on to another conversation.
• Know WHY you are networking: always have a plan and be sure it is a SMART plan.   Have a target speak to 6 people you don’t know – Speak to other members about business every week.
• Less is More.  Be brief and to the point. Your life story may be fascinating, but save it until you're asked! You may have a short time slot, use it wisely with only pertinent words.
• WIIFM- What’s in it for me? People don’t want to know how long you have been in business or where your office is.  What they want to know is what they gain from your product or service, so walk a mile in your customers shoes and your offering will much more appropriate.
• Elevator Pitch:  this is your business proposition that can be given in 30 seconds. It comes from finding yourself in a lift with Bill Gates.  Can you deliver you business proposal between floors in an elevator journey.

Helping Real People, do Real Business Through Real networking

Face to Face or On-Line, which networking type brings you the best reward?

Paul Johnstone ©

We are more or less involved in networking of one sort or another.  I was at a Refer-On presentation the other day and was challenged about the time allocation between Face to face networking and social media networking.

The thrust of the conversation was he had analysed his time in both areas against the rewards he had in return.  Not surprisingly he got the vast bulk of his networking business form his face to face activities.  What he had not been prepared for was just hoe little he could trace to social media!

Personally I prefer face to face networking.  The reason is simple if someone expresses interest in my products, I have body language and verbal clues to help me understand what the person wants.

Face to face networking also has one other great benefit and that is you work with people regularly.  This helps in developing a trust based relationship with them, and with that comes more business.

Not that you can’t do that on line, but be honest you do not know much about the other person apart from the image they have loaded on the site.   Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying anything about the people who use social media to network, I use it.  And I have generated business online through social media.

The point is we buy from people we know, like and trust, whenever we can.  Just think about the brands you associate yourself with.  You buy them because you know and understand what they can do for you.    It’s so much easier, I believe to generate interest in your products or services in person.

These days I tend to use sites like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter to generate interest in the product or offering. I find I ma spending less time

Now this is one person and s as such should not be seen as a trend.  However I would be interested to know from you what strategies you use?  Can I ask you to take a look at the following questions and post your answers.

• How you segment your time?
• What you describe as profitable networking?
• So where do you get most business form?
• And how do you review / asses your activity to rewards?

It will be good to understand what you do, and thanks for your time

Helping Real people do Real Business through Real Networking

The Network Sandwich

Paul Johnstone ©


In management there is a technique called the "feedback sandwich", which is where you are supposed to accentuate the positives of a workers performance band in the middle lays the criticism you need to get across.

You know the formula:

• A specific positive comment is made
• Criticism or suggestion for improvement
• Overall positive comment

This is also known as an Incompetency Attack (other phrases have been used), I am sure at some time we have all been the subject of one of those meetings.  

But we are smart people, once we hear the first part we know what’s coming so why do managers still use this formula?  I guess it's because they believe it still works.

What’s this got to do with networking?  Everything is the answer.

Networking is your interaction with other people.  Like Management in a company you are interacting with colleagues.  You are working for them and they are working for you.  Well that’s what should be happening.


When people refer you to inapropriate clients or provide dead leads, what then?  In these times when thigs do not go according to plan.  You now have two options:  Let it slide after all they are only doing you a favour.  Dangerous as that breeds the attitude if you don’t care I don’t care and everyone looses.  Or Correct their behaviour so they work for you in the way you would like them to.

We all know if someone is not doing the best for you and their only reward is the feeling of contribution, which makes them feel good.

A technique now being used in business forbids the use of criticism and uses anchor words in the process.   The words we use condition the outcome.  Just like your 60 seconds- If every week you sat, I am, I work for, my firm has been in business for and we are located at.  What you are doing is filling time, no one is the least bit interested, Why not? 

What they want to know is what’s in it for me, not how long you have been in business. How can you help my clients not what qualifications you have.

The same principle applies with the fellow networker who is not doing what you would like them to do.  You know the member who puts you forward to people you will never be able to help!

The formula is this:

• Make a suggestion.
• Give 2 reasons why you think it’s a good idea: one states what the suggestion would accomplish, and the other states how the problem would be prevented or solved.
• Make an overall positive comment about the person’s ability.

This has two benefits for you.  Your colleague never believes they are being told of and they feel valued because you have taken the time to work with them. Often as not this tuns into referals that are spot on for you.

Networking is held together by cooperation.  The power of the group is far greater than the power of the individual.  The more individuals in the group feel valued by you, the more likely they are going to be to work for you.

So no more Network Sandwich.

Helping Real people do Real Business through Real Networking

Mixed Messages

Paul Johnstone ©


A lot of what determines success or failure is NOT the obvious stuff that you see and are concerned with.


Studies have shown that whether you're talking to someone their impression of you and what you say is based ONLY ABOUT only 7% are words, you use!! The other 93% is made up of 38% verbal, 55% visual in other words most of it is your body language. 

This combined with the sound and qualities of your voice. I'm sure it's easy for you to understand that if you sound uncertain, no one is going to follow you. To be successful, you must sound and look like you know exactly what you are doing.

Face to face networking should help you develop these skills. Also a great resource is the Association of Speakers clubs http://www.the-asc.org.uk who hold meeting all over the UK.  

As a networker the ability to address groups is one of the keys to your success.  We will all have seen people present who do not get their message across and as a result don’t get business.

Every 60 seconds needs a start a middle and an end, and these components need to be joined up.  A bright opening followed by an example of your skill with a nicely worded conclusion is what will make you stand out form the crowd.

Networking is not just social networking, nor is it just face to face networking.  

The great networkers have a presence in both camps.  Because they both support each other.   And the higher your profile off line as well as on-line will determine how successful your networking activity will be.

Those of you who have read my 10 steps to profitable networking will be aware that being regular when networking is one of the cornerstones to success.

At Refer-On through our meeting topics we show people how to get the most out of their networking.  It’s just part of what Refer-On does. 

You invest a lot of time, effort and money in your networking activity, and you deserve success.  This is great once you have trained yourself to be regular.  Turn up at every networking meeting you are supposed to, weekly, monthly or annually. Raise your profile on line by offering to help others first. 

Never start a social networking connection with a sales pitch, you will loose so many friends that way.  When you message people make it valuable to the reader and don’t dump on them a date, time and place of an event.

When networking face to face never start by selling your product or service, you must sell yourself first.  And if you are I in MLM never, never try to sign up distributors from your regular group.  This last one should be self evident but so many get it wrong.

Be positive when speaking to groups and help them where ever possible.  Which is where your ability to address a group, normally in your 60 seconds is worth it’s weight in gold. Show people you care and they will come with you. 

If all you do is use networking as a sales opporunity, it is probable people will turn away from you.  After all everyone has a choice who to buy from.  Most people buy from those they know, like and trust. 



Helping Real People do Real Business Through Real Networking

Excellence is the only way forward.

Paul Johnstone ©

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle

So, let me ask, what habits have you created around your business networking?
The first habit that every business person should have is the habit of tracking your activities. Creating a tracking system requires that you track several things.

Track your networking activities.
· Who are you networking with?
· What activities are you participating in?
· Have you been specific in what you are asking for?

Track your giving activities.
· Who have you given business to?
· What connections have you been able to make?
· Did this lead to business for the other people?

Track your receiving 'in-book'.
· Who has made a connection for you?
· Bid that connection result in business?
· What was that business worth? It may not be a monetary value.

Track your thanking activities.
· Who have you thanked
· How have you thanked them?
· Have you given them a testimonial?

When you have a system for tracking your activities and you use it consistently, you begin to develop a habit. It is these habits that creates excellence in your networking business!

And as we know once you operate in an atmosphere of excellence you attract like minded people to you.  The net result is you build a contact sphere of people who share the same values and those values will ultimately help you to succeed. 

Helping Real people do Real Business through Real Networking

I'm looking for an introduction to Mr A Stevens Financial Director of Bloggins & Co in Macclesfield, Are you able to help?

Paul Johnstone ©

Its funny how often I sit round a table with other networkers and hear them ask for anyone you know, Blah, blah, blah.  How many of you have heard the same old, same old when it comes to looking for a connection.

We all know the facts that the more specific you are, the more likely you are to find someone who can help you make a connection with one of your business targets?

Urban myth exploded:-- by being specific you are not shutting the door on other potential connections.  Far from it!

At business networking events, many people have the belief that if you don’t asking for everything and everybody, you will miss connections, miss business and miss orders.   In reality when people in your group ask for anyone you know who is in need of organising, or for people who you know who are starting a new business, or for high net worth individuals. Do you remember what was being asked for an hour later?

Well when you are specific the brain has a better chance of remembering what people want.  It’s called your reticular activator (all theses long words for memory) and it reacts to triggers.

And it’s the triggers that work so well once your reticular activator has been fired up.  It lets you know when you should mention the Accountant, designer, solicitor, florist and business coach.

But if you don’t feed peoples trigger how will they ever remember what you are looking for?

There are four ways of getting to connections that can help you achieve your business objectives:

1 Name – Rank and all that. Ask for an introduction to Mr A Stevens, Financial director of    Bloggins and Co In Macclesfield, because you can help them with……

2 If you don’t know their name ask for the Financial director of Bloggins and Co In Macclesfield, because you can help them with……  However a little desk side research and Google should help you identify the person you want an introduction to.

3 Something memorable:  I would like an introduction to people you know who cycle to work because.  People you know with a swimming pool because…. People you know who live in X street in Y Town  All are memorable.  So much better than I want to meet anyone you know who lives in a house.

4 And finally when you are looking to be introduced to a particular type of business.  Florists in Falmouth - Accountants in Accrington - Insurance Brokers in Ipswich, or Solicitors in Stevenage - Because I can help them with ………

Remember always to add why you can help, or what service you supply that will help them in business.  It’s often this last part that is remembered first.  This is a crucial tip for business startups, the quicker your requirments are out there the quicker you will get the introduction.

This dramatically improves your chance of meeting the person you want.  There are many testimonials to this method and I will forward several to you so please ask for them

Helping Real people do Real Business through Real Networking